As the page turns......My World seems to have Frozen

I'm not sure if I ever dreamed of fairy tale endings, because I cannot remember ever standing and looking in a mirror and dreaming of this perfect life. I just did the normal stuff, played tag for endless hours, dressed Barbie in every outfit she ever dreamed of having, and went swimming . Oh to feel that joy and that laughter again. Its hard to recover that joy, right now, not sure If I am just to old to remember or have just become so broken over time....

I've found new joys over the years, those I have shared with my children, or through their joy I experinced a peace within myself, that completes me for a moment. Yet, still Feeling lost and uncertain....I crave and desire to have that joy again....Life is so full of decisions and over and over I am told to not look back, dont question your decisions, there is a reason for every season, God brought you here, you will grow from this and become stronger.....and as I am well aware of this, but what if I am just too tired to continue, now left without words for that prayer, or just simply out of hope......then how do you supose I turn around and move foward? A question I ask myself daily, with smoke n hand...sitting waiting desperately looking for a sign, or to hear a gentle wisper telling me to keep believing, seeing, and feeling life's worth. .......so as it is...Im lost and feeling broken.

Pray for me if you will that I regain my faith, and find my place in this moment............

Forever Young,

Shannyn